Lost Gold
by eevee248
Summary: "I'll take you back with me," he tells her firmly. "If it's the last thing I do... You will rest in our kingdom. I swear it." Joshua/Natasha one-shot. WARNING: Character Death


I have no _idea_ what is making me want to write so much sad stuff, ha ha ha. It's probably because of all the fluff I've already posted on here. Also, you need a bit of sadism to create conflict, or something like that? So here. Have some writing prompted by me being a sadist. Not sure if this is the right thing to say, but… Enjoy?

… I need to go write some fluff to compensate now too-da-loo.

**Pairing(s): **Joshua/Natasha, implied Lyon/Eirika

**Words: **1,096

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Character Death, maybe OOCness because this is my first time writing for these two.

She looks so much like his mother.

Her pale cheeks are haunting and the way her golden strands drift across her cheeks remind him less of an angel's halo and more of lost gold. His grip on her hand is gentle; so gentle that he is hardly holding it. But he can still feel the warmth fading away, and the lump in his throat only grows as her eyelids pull back, finding himself once again lost in her sapphire blue eyes.

"You mustn't... Stay here," she murmurs, her words broken. Broken like her. Broken like him.

"I can't leave you," he whispers, tightening his grip on her hand.

"You... Have to. Yo... Your kingdom..." Natasha somehow manages to smile, giving his hand a weak squeeze. "You have... To take care of our home." His grip on her hand becomes made of iron.

"Not without you," he insists. "I promised. I promised that I would make you happy..."

Her laugh is genuine but strained. "You already... Have." Her eyes drift closed, and her grip on his hand weakens. "Joshua..."

Joshua lifts her hand, pressing it to his cheek. There's still time - if a cleric besides her were here, there would still be time... Why had they been so _stupid_?! This is _war_. They shouldn't be underestimating the enemy like this... He bows his head, but no tears fall. Her skin is still so soft, but it has never been this cold. He brings her hand to his mouth, gently kissing it as the others fight off the enemies that still surround them. He knows that he should be helping them; Natasha would want him to be helping them.

But all he wants is to be with her.

Innes and Gerik, the two other units that had been assigned this area, seem to understand this. They don't as much as glance at him as they demolish their foes. Joshua is numb as an enemy comes too close to where he hold Natasha, but an arrow that strikes it in a weak point sails over the head of Jehanna's prince just in time. At first, he expects the Frelian prince to snap at him to focus or the like, but Innes's gaze meets his only briefly before the sniper turns back to the battle at hand.

Joshua sighs; in those few moments before Innes shot the enemy down, perhaps Joshua had been praying for monster to bring him his end, if only so he would not leave Natasha alone on the other side. What purpose would that fulfill, though? She wouldn't forgive him for doing that. Ever since his mother's death, she's only wanted what is best for him and Jehanna. What is best for him and... Their kingdom.

He pulls her hand away from his lips, admiring the ring on her finger. He holds out his own hand, observing every small detail that was shared by each. The two rings had cost a fair bit of gold, but he would easily pay ten times that amount to have her back again. He would even - loathe as he is to admit it - give up gambling. If only she would just... Gently, he slides the ring off of her finger, tucking it into his pocket. He will attach it onto a cord and hang it around his neck once the battle is over, but for now, this will have to do.

The cold metal of the ring against his skin will hardly be a proper replacement for her soft caress, and he knows it. There is no replacing her, just as there is no replacing his mother. _At least,_ Joshua thinks, closing his eyes as he wraps his arms around her delicate frame. _At least she is not like Princess Eirika's Lyon, who has the mind of someone else but the body of the boy she loved._

He lifts Natasha in the same way that a groom would lift his bride, pressing his lips to her eyelid as he stands. "I'll take you back with me," he tells her firmly. "If it's the last thing I do... You will rest in our kingdom. I swear it." Giving her forehead one last, fleeting kiss, he turns to face his comrades. The fighting is still ongoing, but there are only a handful of enemies left.

"We'll take care of things here," Gerik tells him, although it takes Joshua a moment to realize that the mercenary is talking to him and not his enemy. "Just slip through the gap there." He nods towards a pathway devoid of any enemies.

"Thanks," Joshua replies quickly, shooting him a quickly forced smile before turning to leave.

_"Joshua," Natasha whispers, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "You pushed yourself too hard again." Jehanna's prince laughs, wrapping his arms around his lover gently. He does everything gently with her, as though he's afraid she'll break under too much pressure._

_ "I just want to keep you safe," Joshua admits as Natasha's finger traces a scratch that marks his cheek. "You have no way to defend yourself yet, so it's up to me."_

_ "You mustn't die, though, Joshua." Natasha sighs, letting her hand drop to his shoulder. "That would leave both me and Jehanna without a protector." Another slight chuckle escapes Joshua's lips._

_ "You make a better ruler than I do," he informs her lightly, pressing his lips to the area just above her ear. "But I can't let you die, either. That would leave both me and Jehanna without a voice of reason."_

_ Natasha says nothing._

_ "... Natasha?"_

_ "I can't make any promises," Natasha whispers as Joshua gently nips the top of her ear. "But you need to survive more than I do, Joshua. I need you to rule Jehanna for the both of us... And I need you to bring an end to this war so that no more of Grado's citizens will die."_

_ She still cares so much for Grado, despite her practically thinking of herself as Jehanna's queen already._

_ "I can't make you happy if you die, Natasha," Joshua insists._

_ Again, Natasha says nothing._

_ "... But I'll do it if you need me to." A bitter sigh escapes him as he pulls back to look at the blond in his embrace. "But in return, I need you to do your best to survive out there."_

_ "It's a gamble..." Natasha murmurs, smiling slightly at the use of the word. "But I'll do my best."_

_ "That's all I need," Joshua tells her, leaning in towards her lips._

But that was not enough.


End file.
